September 11th, 2007

Neko (lofulah)


Still feeling more emotionally down than normal. There's absolutely no reason for this, at least none that I can locate (unless... EXPO and the prospect of getting a job?) - the weather is gorgeous, I don't have any large projects due yet (next week... meep), and... I don't know.

[whiny]Arrr, wants a hug.[/whiny]

It may be EXPO* and the prospect of getting a job. I don't know. I'm whiffle-waffling over the future again - general routes include 10% grad school, 50% job, 20% unemployed bum, and possibly 30% Highbrow. Job possibilities include going back to ISIS/Georgetown, hitting up Kitware, or prodding Freewebs/R. Neel and seeing if I made a decent enough impression. Or any other networking I manage to create.

I've reached the conclusion that I dislike EXPO and these job fairs though. It's not my way of networking - too much pressure to try to sell myself, with too many other (undoubtedly) more qualified applicants - I am a "Doing things" sort of person - I would be much happier establishing myself through examples than have to struggle with selling myself verbally in a minute. Primarily because 1) I don't have the self-esteem / ego to sell myself, and 2) I'm afraid they'll ask for technical... stuff. And I'll just look dazed because I can't think up stuff on the spot, and bluffing isn't a strong skill of mine. I know stuff, but a lot of it is broad, general stuff - that's probably one of my few strengths - I have the background to adapt to specific technologies across a broad range as required. But pulling detailed things up, like.. oh.. C++ Object syntax and "which of the following four isn't a java protected word" isn't something I can do.

*Engineering EXPO: It's a large, three-day career fair held by the engineering council every year. 50-100 companies attend, including large named companies like AMD, Nvidia, etc.
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