Benjamin Juang (ibneko) wrote,
Benjamin Juang
ibneko

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Gaaaaou.

In seeking the things that are currently stressing me out, I've found:
-Start of classes, general uncertainly, and the need to work harder. Even though I don't know how.
-Money. Money to pay for college, money to pay for computer and repairs and stuff.

At least I think I know where the uncomfortable-wanna-go-curl-up-in-a-ball-and-cry sorta feeling's coming from. I think. Jeeze, this is a pain. Can I shield myself from myself? o.O I can shield myself from everyone else, I can shield Lady from everyone/everything else, but myself from myself? Or at least the worried, emotional, male/female parts of me from myself? So I'm left with just a brain and thinking and working and not caring about god know what else?

Argh. Yeah, sorry guys, I know I've ranted a lot over the past... three?four days? And I've felt crappy in general, not physically crappy, just.. emotionally and mentally crappy. And spiraling dooooownwards. Which pisses me off even more, 'cause there's nothing I can do to stop it, no, not yet. Well, yeah, there's destructive things that I could do, but I whine at other to not do it, so I certainly can't go around doing it myself, ne?

Classes start in 9 hours. If I can find my professor and figure out where classes are meeting. Hahahahaaa.... Theatre-tech. Let's hope it's nice and interesting and stressless. That aside, the only other class I have is Japanese. My textbook is open next to me.. I was reading it... kinda. There's so much to review. And I had wanted to look ahead too. Gods, I have no self discipline.

My roommate still isn't back from winter break. I boggle, yo~ (watch him stroll in in the next 5 minutes, now that I've posted this. Hahaha.)
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