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			IBNeko's Journal-Nyo~!




			10:19 pm June 14th, 2003

ibneko


	bother.
	Wireless Bridge works, but I get disconnected after a while, so eventually my connection will die again... so I'm taking this chance to respond to most people's comments and check a few livejournals... A question to everyone: it's interesting... most people have a tendency to offer blank (ok, I see it as blank, it doesn't do anything and sometimes it's so automatic, there's really no value behind it.) sympathy (ie - Oh, I'm sorry, insert hugs, will beat up your friends, etc), but some others won't... What do you prefer? the sympathy or silence? or maybe attempts to connect with your situation and offer advice, even if perhaps potentially unwanted advice? Truthfully, now, please? Also, which would you prefer from your friends, the truth, no matter how much it may hurt? Some (intelligent) filtering by your friends? or only white lies? (haha, ok, both questions were very biased, but do take time to think about them before replying... or don't reply at all ^^;; I'd rather take truth, and the perhaps potentially unwanted advice. But sympathy is always nice, kinda, 'cept when redundant, ne?)

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	Comments




			Comment by Yifeng

	From: yifinity	Date: June 14th, 2003 07:48 pm (UTC)		(Link)

I like hearing a little bit of sympathy if the alternative is silence, as it's reassuring to know that someone listened to the entire story. However, I like advice better than sympathy because I don't usually act on the advice anyway. Jokes work well, ignoring the problem works even better. Some intelligent filtering of the truth is best. I'm not sure if we ever need to know the absolute truth...

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			Comment by Meg

	From: marbenais	Date: June 15th, 2003 01:46 am (UTC)		(Link)

It really depends on the friend . . . and somewhat the situation, whether it is something that's resolveable or just rumination.

I like meaningful sympathy, attempts to connect are okay from very close friends, empathy's always wonderful.

Truth seems to work best, in general; intelligent filtering [smart, I think, is a better term, but that's my linguistic snobbishness] only works when the friend of both caring and tactful, and white lies . . . they can be so unintentionally painful.

In the Anne of Green Gables books, there are certain people whom Anne describes as "kindred spirits" or of the "race of Joseph," and I think L. M. Montgomery hits upon a good distinction, that there are some people who are very close and special and family (regardless of actual relationship) and those are the people from whom one needs to hear the truth.
(Then there's the description of gumption, and the telling of how a soul grows in spurts, unlike the body, and becomes that of an adult overnight, as it were, not just gradually.
But we already knew how much I liked the series.]

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