It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the calorie content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research the results are in:
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent...............................12 Calories
Without her consent..........................2187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands................................8 Calories
With one hand.................................12 Calories
With your teeth..............................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection...............................6 Calories
Without an erection.........................3315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.....................8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot...................4092 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary..............................
69 lying down..................................78 Calories
69 standing up................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow.............................
Doggy Style...................................3
Italian chandelier...........................291
ORGASMS:
Real....................................
Fake....................................
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.................................
Calories
Getting up immediately.............................
Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years...................................
30-39 years...................................
40-49 years...................................1
50-59 years..................................1
60-69 years..................................7
70 and over..............................Result
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly..................................
In a hurry...................................
With her father knocking at the door.........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door........13,521 Calories
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Taken of someone's facebook wall.
Ok, I swear, I'll stop procrastinating now!