Benjamin Juang (ibneko) wrote,
Benjamin Juang

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Hah. And _now_ I get lonely.

I don't like being lonely. It's not that uncomfortable ache for people, just an itch to be in a group, doing things.

I blame it on not enough to do. Oh, lonely fellow geeks on campus, where art thou?

Hmmm, maybe it's time to get back to coding. Or sketching. I copied around 20 rough sketches of anime girls done by our J-net president, as we wanted to make eye-catching advertisements. And the idea was that people would have to sign up for our mailing list before we'd give them a sketch. Unfortunately, not that many people took sketches in the end - I don't think they noticed them or something. Pity~

I can copy - that's not too bad. I still can't get the proportions right though... Just need more practice now... But I have the potential to draw! Or at least sketch.

Probably coding though. :: sighs::

Back to the lonely-ness though. As noted in xxxHolic (an anime series, not porn or hentai, but a rather interesting CLAMP series), words are noted to have effects on how things really are. The example given, was a girl who was consistently clumsy and a social failure, in the shadow of her twin sister. But it was revealed that it was because she always said or admitted that she was clumsy and a social failure, and others also said so, thus causing her to really be who she was. And it's true, I believe*. Words do have an effect on things and people. But... it doesn't _always_ work. Saying, "I didn't fail the exam" has never seemed to work for me. And going in unprepared, while believing that I am prepared, never has worked. However, I wonder if I've accidentally "bound" myself as a bad test taker. Or an unlucky one. And also, things like.. I'm socially incapable of becoming friends with lots of different people. And that I'm lonely. If I change that . . . . . . .

(*Plus, it fits perfectly with the So You Want To Be A Wizard system of magic / rules of the world which I... live by, more or less; words are important, even the slightest mistake in communicating what you mean, could change things completely. Therefore, lies are things you don't say, as... in the case of wizardry/magic, words will change physical things and what is/what are/what shall be.)
Tags: life, magic, rambling, reflection, words

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