But with windows... argh. What the hell.
[append]
Oh, lovely, not only will it not work, it has also decided to tell me I'm not running "geniune" windows. Oh well, there doesn't appear to be too much of a difference between "geniune" crap and crap... as long as it doesn't do stupid things like, shutting down randomly, or not running what I need it to run... then that's fine. Be normal crap for all I care.
https/svn/trac server back up. Hurrah! Required steps: ran all the installers. downloaded xampp, ran the apache service installer. Modified the Apache2 service to point to the proper apache. Rebooted. Discovered I had to uninstall the random IIS service I installed (it ate my 80 and 443 port. Hrumph). Rebooted it again. Tested... it's working!