Benjamin Juang (ibneko) wrote,
Benjamin Juang

Wise words, and a meme...

...There was a time when I was extraordinarily tolerant. I accepted people into my life that I never should have. I tolerated very negative, broken personalities, in an effort to be in a way I thought was expected of me. To my own faults, I was yerning for completion in other people, for fulfillment in them, instead of myself. Over time, you witness just enough, you catalogue the things that touch a nerve or that you recognize subconsciously as a sign of bad character, all the while pushing it down in consideration for harmony. Usually, there's one last thing, one final piece of a puzzle into the nature of someone, and the scale of benefit-to-suffering tips the other way, and you realize you're no longer finding any value in a continued association or friendship with an individual. In your mind, you have an entire list of negative instances that have compounded over months and years, but it's hard for the person being abandoned to recognize anything other than a sudden departure, or a curt, short dismissal. They can only think of the latest thing they've done to possibly warrant a grievance and to them, the response seems disproportional to the transgression. Over time, the result was as good as it was almost accidental: I ended up surrounded with, mostly stable, successful, positive-minded people. It may sound cliche and oversaid, but it's likely oversaid because it's so rarely followed. If you can't change the people around you... change the people around you.

If you find yourself surrounded by someone who's almost always negative... maybe they're complaining all the time, or they're exceptionally juvanile in their outlook, or they talk about their problems without ever taking affirmative steps to resolve any of them, you might do better to distance yourself. I'm not someone who believes in mysticism any longer, but I swear as the truth that the subconscious mind can't take a joke. If you surround yourself with people obsessed with escapism, obsessed with everyone else's life by their own, obsessed with complaint and misery, obsessed with envy, it's going to affect your own happiness. Surround yourself with people who cope with reality and thrive in it, not people who create their own realities in their heads and rail against the universe for not conforming to it. If someone's telling you your problems can only be solved by someone else's productivity, dump them. If someone's seethingly upset over someone else's success and/or happiness, drop them like they were plutonium (memories of Mat Sherer frothing at the mouth over Scott Kurtz's ability to raise money). If someone constantly pines that they wish they could be something they physically never can be, walk way from them. If there's someone who can never talk to you without bringing up everyone else's drama as a doorway to "conversation", run...

[ source | ]

And the meme:
Level 1
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
(x) drank alcohol
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of a parent's house
( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) smoked weed
total: 5

Level 2
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone out on a blind date
(x) had a crush on an older person
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with A co-worker
(x) seen someone/something die
( ) had a crush on one of your LJ friends
( ) been to Paris
total so far : 9

Level 3
( ) been to Spain
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up from drinking
(x) eaten sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone BECAUSE of LJ
( ) been in a mosh pit
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken pain killers
( ) loved/liked someone you couldn't have
total so far: 12

Level 4
(x) laid on your back And watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle-jumping
(x) played dress-up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
total so far: 21

Level 5
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake/someone else's ID
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake
( ) killed a snake
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed/vandalized
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
total so far: 27

Level 6
( ) pet a deer
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended
(x) had detention
(x) been in a car/motorcycle accident
( ) had braces
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja-vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
total so far: 33

Level 7
( ) witnessed a crime
(x) pole danced (as a joke)
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the world
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like you were dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
total so far: 40

Level 8
( ) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sang karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) kissed in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under mistletoe
total so far: 44

Level 9
( ) watched the sun set with someone you cared about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true
( ) been humped by a monkey
( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
total so far: 48

Level 10
( ) screamed "penis" in class
( ) swam with dolphins
( ) got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex's clothes
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours
(x) stayed up all night
total so far: 53

Level 11
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had/been in a tree house
(x) been scared to watch scary movies alone
( ) seen a ghost
( ) had more than 30 pairs of shoes
( ) gone streaking
(x) been in jail/visited someone in jail
( ) played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
total so far: 59

Level 12
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it later
( ) made a porn video
( ) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
( ) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
total so far: 64

Level 13
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
( ) French-braided someones hair
( ) gone skinny-dipping
(x) been kicked out of your house
(x) rode a roller coaster
(x) went scuba-diving/snorkeling
(x) had a cavity
(x) blackmailed someone/been blackmailed
total so far: 72

Level 14
(x) been used
(x) fell going up the stairs
(x) licked a cat
(x) bitten someone
(x) licked someone
( ) been shot at
( ) had sex in a field/garden
( ) flattened someone's tires
(x) rode your car until the gas light came on
( ) got five dollars or less worth of gas
grand total: 78
Tags: meme, quotes

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