Benjamin Juang (ibneko) wrote,
Benjamin Juang
ibneko

Wise words, and a meme...

...There was a time when I was extraordinarily tolerant. I accepted people into my life that I never should have. I tolerated very negative, broken personalities, in an effort to be in a way I thought was expected of me. To my own faults, I was yerning for completion in other people, for fulfillment in them, instead of myself. Over time, you witness just enough, you catalogue the things that touch a nerve or that you recognize subconsciously as a sign of bad character, all the while pushing it down in consideration for harmony. Usually, there's one last thing, one final piece of a puzzle into the nature of someone, and the scale of benefit-to-suffering tips the other way, and you realize you're no longer finding any value in a continued association or friendship with an individual. In your mind, you have an entire list of negative instances that have compounded over months and years, but it's hard for the person being abandoned to recognize anything other than a sudden departure, or a curt, short dismissal. They can only think of the latest thing they've done to possibly warrant a grievance and to them, the response seems disproportional to the transgression. Over time, the result was as good as it was almost accidental: I ended up surrounded with, mostly stable, successful, positive-minded people. It may sound cliche and oversaid, but it's likely oversaid because it's so rarely followed. If you can't change the people around you... change the people around you.

If you find yourself surrounded by someone who's almost always negative... maybe they're complaining all the time, or they're exceptionally juvanile in their outlook, or they talk about their problems without ever taking affirmative steps to resolve any of them, you might do better to distance yourself. I'm not someone who believes in mysticism any longer, but I swear as the truth that the subconscious mind can't take a joke. If you surround yourself with people obsessed with escapism, obsessed with everyone else's life by their own, obsessed with complaint and misery, obsessed with envy, it's going to affect your own happiness. Surround yourself with people who cope with reality and thrive in it, not people who create their own realities in their heads and rail against the universe for not conforming to it. If someone's telling you your problems can only be solved by someone else's productivity, dump them. If someone's seethingly upset over someone else's success and/or happiness, drop them like they were plutonium (memories of Mat Sherer frothing at the mouth over Scott Kurtz's ability to raise money). If someone constantly pines that they wish they could be something they physically never can be, walk way from them. If there's someone who can never talk to you without bringing up everyone else's drama as a doorway to "conversation", run...

[ source | http://fiskblack.livejournal.com/57762.html ]

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And the meme:
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Tags: meme, quotes
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