Benjamin Juang (ibneko) wrote,
Benjamin Juang
ibneko

This sucks.


Huh. Now that I said all that, I'm not too sure what I want to whine about. Or whine eleqouently about. I had a whole, long whiny thing in mind, but it kinda ran away after I wrote the disclaimer. ::sighs:: oh well, might as well outline what I was going to whine about...

-School. School sucks. IA is scaring me. English is scaring me. Hell, everything's scaring me. Or stressing me out, anyways.

-Drama. I still feel horrible about the fire alarm thing. And I keep going back to the "what if..." and "if I had.." possibilities. And I really should stop dwelling on it. On the bright side of the incident, people have been relatively understanding about why we did not go and tell. Someone ought to give Sam a hug though, he's probably affected by it the most, since he's chief and all and we had told him and he had kinda brushed it off, assuming what I assumed. (that the school's monitoring systems would catch it and crap like that.)

-NaNoWriMo. Yeah, I know this isn't supposed to stress me out, but it is. 'cause I'd really love to be able to achieve 50,000 words in a month. That'd be such an ego/mental/emotional boost, which I could really use. According to calculations, to be able to get to 50,000, I'd need to get 3,500-4,000 words a night. My current rate is about 750-2000 a night. In other words, I need to double my output. That'd probably mean doubling the time. And it currently take about 1 hour to generate the 750-2000, depending on my muse who isn't used to these things. ("I'm getting too old for this. Stop hitting me with the keyboard, it isn't going to make me come up with more stuff, you know!" -Ben's muse)

-I'm physically sick. I haven't been this sick for at least 6 month. Probably 8, or even 10 months. And fuckit, I don't like it one bit. My throat hurts, I have random headaches, my temper is shorter than my dick (jk. I told you this was a whining post. But my temper is kinda short at the moment.), and I can't hear much, and can't hear myself talk. Or I sound funny anyways. Which means I could get an ear infection. Damn bother. And going to sleep as late as I will be isn't going to help me one fucking bit. I'm seriously considering skipping school tuesday if I don't get any better.

-I'm running out of motivation to do anything again.

-College Apps deadlines are rapidly approaching. ARGFUCKINGDAMNIT.

-I want to spend time at drama without having to worry about other crap (mostly the stuff stated above).

-My headphones broke. I had to fix them with a rubber band. -.-;;;

-I can't taste anything. And my mouth feels numb because I was too hungry and ate dinner too fast when it was too hot. =X.X=


[ edit | no, I should change that. I do care about what you guys have to say. I'm just not expecting anyone to say anything. Which probably means that everyone who reads this will say something. But that's what I don't want. Do I? I confuse me.... (huh, almost wrote "I confuse men" there...) ]
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